Navigating Adoption and Rediscovering Family: Lia's Journey
Introduction: Adoption stories often hold a complex tapestry of emotions, personal discoveries, and uncharted relationships. In this heartfelt and candid episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Lia Epps takes the mic to share her unique origin story. From the initial narratives she was told to the transformative truths she uncovered, Lia delves into the intricate layers of her adoption experience. Joined by Dr. Noelle and Tosha, Lia openly explores the dynamics of her adoptive family, her search for biological relatives, and the profound impact of reconnecting with her roots.
Discovering the Initial Narrative: Lia begins her story by recounting the initial narrative she was told growing up. She shares that her biological mother passed away due to AIDS and that she was raised without knowledge of her father's identity. Lia was also informed that her mother's religious beliefs had led her to request that her children refrain from eating pork. Holding onto this connection to her late mother, Lia abstains from consuming pork to this day. She also believed for a long time that her father would eventually find her and rescue her from her circumstances, a belief that was shattered as she dug deeper into her origin story.
Unveiling the Truth: As Lia embarked on her search for her biological family, she discovered that the story she had been told was vastly different from reality. She learned that her mother hadn't voluntarily given her up for a better life, but rather, the state had removed all five siblings from her care. While her two older sisters went to live with their grandmother, Lia and her other sister and brother entered the foster care system. Eventually, Lia was adopted. She also discovered her mother's struggles with mental health issues, her experiences as a sex worker, and the circumstances surrounding her parents' meeting.
Challenges and Complex Relationships: Lia opens up about the challenges she faced in building relationships with her biological relatives. Her relationships with her maternal siblings were generally positive, with a sense of belonging and love. However, Lia reveals that her relationships with her paternal siblings were more complicated. The significant age difference and certain dynamics within these relationships presented hurdles for her. Lia also shares her disappointment upon learning that her father had raised her two older siblings while not making the same effort to find her, leaving her with a sense of abandonment.
Navigating Identity and Reclaiming Names: The conversation delves into Lia's identity and her relationship with her given name. She expresses her affinity for the Arabic name her biological mother bestowed upon her and the significance it holds in her life. Lia contemplates reclaiming her name but acknowledges the logistical challenges and paperwork involved. She also discusses her evolving relationship with her adoptive parents, expressing the possibility of going no contact with her adoptive father, and the impact these dynamics have on her name reclamation considerations.
Telling Her Story and Managing Expectations: When it comes to telling her story, Lia emphasizes the importance of context and individual relationships. Depending on the person and their connection to her life, she shares a blend of what her adoptive parents told her, what she has learned, and her own interpretation of the events. Lia acknowledges that building relationships with biological relatives is a process and doesn't always result in immediate connections. She highlights the need for understanding and patience, recognizing that relationships take time to develop and grow.
Reflecting on Past and Future: Towards the end of the episode, Lia addresses her younger self, offering words of reassurance and hope. She shares a message of resilience and the knowledge that things do get better. Lia assures her younger self that she will find her people and experience the love she always longed for. It's a touching moment that encapsulates her journey and growth.
Conclusion: Lia Epps' origin story provides an intimate glimpse into the complexities of adoption and the profound impact it has on an individual's life. Her journey of self-discovery, from the narratives she was told to the truths she uncovered, is a testament to the resilience of adoptees. Through her candid and poignant storytelling, Lia's experiences shed light on the intricate tapestry of emotions, relationships, and identity that form a crucial part of the adoptee narrative.